And I Will Always Love You
Request: Josh and Alex go through relationship dilemmas, but somehow they always find their way back to each other
This one is a little all over the place, but I hope you like it!
And I Will Always Love You
I sat in the car outside, thinking about what I should do. It was Josh or Juliard, and they we’re both things that I needed to survive. I couldn’t pick, it was like choosing between breathing and eating. Two vital things I needed for life, and I could never just choose one. Someone opened my passenger door, and got in the car. I saw his perfect jaw through my peripheral vision.
“I can’t Josh, don’t make me choose.”
Josh grabbed my hand, “Alex, you have to go.” I shook my head, “Don’t.” I said, keeping my eyes forward. I didn’t want to look at him because it would just make me cry more. “No, you don’t Alex. This is your dream, and I can’t let you pass it up because of me.” I shook my head because now I was going to sob no matter what, “You are my dream too, Josh. I can’t just let you go like this.” I said, and he wiped my tears away with his thumb. “Alex, you are my everything. I love you so much, and it’s because I love you that I have to let you go. We just have to let fate decide, if we are written in the stars then we will be together again, but if not we will still be in each others lives I promise you.” I cried into my hands, “I’m not going, I’m not going without you.” I cried and he sighed, “You have to Alex, Julliard is your dream and I am the only thing holding you back from it. You have to go, fulfill your potential, an I’ve got to let you.”
I cried and cried, but I also realized Josh wasn’t going to accept anything else. “Are we breaking up?” I asked, and he sighed. “I am setting you free, Alex.” I cried even more, “What if we fall for other people?” I asked, and he shrugged. “We just have to let fate take us where it takes us, Alex. But I don’t ever want you to think I don’t love you. Promise me you won’t ever think I don’t love you.” I smiled and I promised him, “I need you to promise me something too.” I said, wiping my nose and he answered, “Anything.” He said and I cried again, “Promise that you will never ever forget me?” I asked him, and he put his hand on my cheek. “You are impossible to forget, Alex.” I smiled and cried at the same time, “I love you, Josh.” He pulled my face to his, “I love you, Alex.” We shared a passionate kiss and we both got out of the car and walked into the airport together.
When I got to my gate I turned to Josh, “I love you.” I said, putting my hand on his cheek and he stroked my fingers with his. “I love you too! Call me when you get there.” He said and I nodded, before kissing him one final time. He hugged me, and I dreaded having to let go. He pulled away from me, and I mourned the loss of his warmth, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that this would be the last time I would get to feel him like this. We shared a smile and we let each other go, and I fought with everything in my body to hold my tears back. I made it through security and terminals, and when I made it to my seat. I broke down and cried out what felt like everything in my body, except for my heart. It was just laying in it’s cavity bleeding out, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I held onto Josh’s words though, about fate. I smiled at the thought of his words, and I sunk back into my seat. “It’ll be alright.” I muttered to myself.
And I let myself grin before I placed my hand on the window, taking one last look at the sweet sky of California.
1 Year And 6 Months Later
“Babe, are you excited about going home?” Logan asked me, as we drove home from the airport. I smiled, “Yes, I can’t wait to see my family. I’ve missed them.” I said, and he grabbed my hand. “We are going to see them now.” I smiled at the thought of seeing everyone I loved again, and I couldn’t help but think about Josh. We eventually lost touch when he started dating my best friend Kae, and that was part of the reason I was dating Logan, but he was also helping my broken heart and feelings mend from Josh. He was making it better and I really did like him, but I don’t know if I was in love with him, and if I was it wasn’t as much as I loved Josh. It could get there though, all we needed was a little time. I squeezed his fingers, “I can’t wait!” I muttered and the rest of the ride was silent. When I pulled up outside my house, my entire family was waiting to greet Logan and I. I was happy they had already met Logan because that spared me the boring old introductions. I just got hugs and kisses, and offered drinks. “We are throwing you a welcome home party tonight!” My mother said and I rolled my eyes, “Why tonight?” She shrugged because people I invited have things to do tomorrow night, so it’s tonight down at the country club. Be ready by six.” I knew there was no way I was getting out of this one, so I agreed.
As we were walking in I heard someone call my name, “Alex!” I turned and recognized the voice as Kae’s. She ran up to me and hugged me, and I really didn’t know what to do. It kind of made me mad that she didn’t feel the least bit awkward that I was Josh’s girlfriend, “How’ve you been?” She asked, and I smirked. “Numb.” She looked awkward now, and I grabbed Logan’s hand, “Well this is my boyfriend Logan. Logan this is my friend Kae.” He shook her hand, and a million tingles went through my spine after I heard someone speak. “Boyfriend?” I turned around to see Josh, and even after all this time and after trying to be in love with someone else, he still took my breath away with every single look. He walked over to us, but he ignored Logan at first and went for hug. I sighed being in his arms again, but then he looked at Logan, and when they shook hands Josh was incredibly rude to him. Rude enough that he stormed into the house, and I wasn’t going to let that go with me not opening my mouth.
“Josh!” I called from the foyer, and I followed him into the kitchen. “What is your problem?” I asked him and he laughed, “You’re a hypocrite! I can’t believe you got over me that quick to be in love with someone else! Or is it love? Are you sure you’re not in love with his face or his wallet? If that’s the case, whose next? Another boy from Julliard?” What the fuck? He totally wasn’t going down this road right now, I threw my bag on the floor and got right in his face. “I am the hypocrite? I don’t fucking think so, I started dating Logan after you started dating Kae. If you think for one minute that I love a person for their looks and security, then you must believe that what we had wasn’t real,” I kept my voice up because I was on a roll, “You don’t get to call me a whore, when I met you I thought I found the person that I was going to spend the rest of my life with! So all of the stupid boys, and the flings and all the obvious daddy issues who cared, because I was done. You left me, you chose Kae. I will make no apologies on how I choose to repair what you broke, you don’t get to call me a whore.” I snapped and he couldn’t think of anything else to say, so before he put his foot in his mouth again I walked away.
I kept to myself in my room for the rest of the day, and when Logan walked in he let me know I had an hour and a half to get ready. I found the will to get myself out of bed and into the shower, and I just blow dried my hair into curls, and I only put eyeliner on. I dug to the bottom of my suitcase and pulled out my black cocktail dress with my matching heels. I looked like I was in mourning, and even though I may not have been, my heart was so it was alright. I sat snuggled in Logan’s side on the ride down to the country club, and I just kept my eyes out the window. My mother said she couldn’t un-invite Kae or Josh or their families because they paid for their meals for the night. I knew it wasn’t going to be fun, but I figured if I faked a few smiles, my mother would be satisfied sooner and I would get to leave. Everyone bombarded me when I made my grand entrance, and Logan’s fingers in mine made me not break down when I saw Kae and Josh, but I didn’t even make eye contact, I just went to all of my other friends.
The night actually went by pretty fast, the food was delicious and the dancing was remarkable. I didn’t even have time to think about Josh, and my mind just went clouded and everything that had to do with him seemed to fade, at lease until Logan and I were sharing a peaceful slow dance, and I caught Josh’s gaze on me. He was smirking at me, in that way he did when he wanted me, and it was making me feel intoxicated. I felt like my entire body was being stripped of oxygen, and I had to pull away from Logan and run away for some air. I ran out of the main area, and headed for one of the spare rooms. I needed to be away from people, and if I went outside people would just follow. “Alex!” Josh called from behind me but all I could manage was, “Leave me alone!” He called my name again, but I entered the room and of course he followed me.
“Just leave me alone, why can’t you just leave me alone?” I asked him, and he shrugged. “I just wanted to make sure you’re alright!” I rolled my eyes and fake laughed, “No, I’m not alright! Okay are you satisfied, I’m not alright because you’re dating my best friend and you called me a whore, and now you’re looking at me! Stop looking at me.” I said and he got angry, “I’m not looking at you, I am not looking at you.” I shook my head, “You are looking at me, and you watch me! Logan has a lot of future plans, and I like him and I am really trying here to create what we had, and I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe with you looking at me like that, so just stop!” I shouted and he got even angrier, “Do you think I want to be looking at you? That I wouldn’t rather be looking at my girlfriend? I’m in a relationship, I have responsiblilites! If you really want the truth, then I couldn’t get over you! I couldn’t do it after you left, all I thought about what it was like when we were together, when we kissed and when we made love and how I felt. I couldn’t do it without some sort of push, and she was there! She doesn’t drive me crazy, she doesn’t make it impossible for me to feel normal, and I would give anything not to be looking at you.”
He shouted, but he couldn’t make me the bad guy here, “What you promised me didn’t come true! I thought we would be together forever, Josh! If you felt that strongly, you should have waited! You should have told me you couldn’t do it and I would have came back, or we would have figured something out! But like always Josh, your head got in the way! I didn’t destroy us, you did! You let me go while I was hanging onto you by a thread, and you still felt the need to cut me loose. You, and I quote, set me free and now you have to live with that mistake!” I shouted back and I tried to walk out, but he pulled me into his embrace and kissed me.
We stood there kissing for the next 20 minutes until he pulled away, “Forget them! I can’t forget about you, Alex. I need you, and I need you to need me too. I can’t go on this way without you by my side anymore! I will move to New York if I have to, but I need you. I need to feel you and be with you and be able to call you my own. Please, don’t leave quite yet.” He said, and I was stunned but I had enough attention span to think. Kae could always have Logan, and I would be good there, but could I really do this again? Could I be one hundred percent sure I could be with Josh again? I was still in love with him, and I guess I had fate to blame for that, but I couldn’t contemplate what the right decision was. My heart was fluttering the same way it always did when I was around him, and that gave me my answer. “I want you too, Josh! Can we just pretend that our love never went away and pick up where we left off?” I asked, and he nodded. “Sounds good to me.” We shared another kiss, before we went back outside to the dance floor.
Kae and Logan were sharing laughs and smiling at each other, but we ignored them because the DJ was playing Whitney Houston and Josh pulled me into his arms for a dance. I rested my face against his neck, and it felt more than intoxicating to be in his arms again, and I was in my own bubble of bliss with Josh. I didn’t care what people had to say anymore, as long as I had him. He began mumbling the lyrics, and I decided to help him out when he got to the chorus. I put my hand on his face, “And I will always love you.”
Without a care, we shared a passionate kiss in the middle of the dance floor.